Immigration Problems Solved

by andrew on May 13, 2010

Shuter DownNot sure why this hasn’t occurred to me before now.

Many a moon ago I was a Coxswain and a Boarding Officer in the U.S. Coast Guard (my original 30 year old pin).

If you were a U.S. registered vessel, you could not stop me from coming aboard your boat (dingy or whatever you had). If the hull was wet, I could board ya.

Unlike a Police Officer… I did not need probable cause to stop and search your vessel.

I already had it, automatically.

“Heave to and stand by for a boarding to check for all applicable federal laws and regulations”… my ticket on board.

I even received a commendation from the District Captain for boarding an ‘unobliging’ Army Generals Grand Bank Trawler.

That General was pissed (story for another day).

Anyway… here’s the idea.

With the new health care bill passing, I’m sure everyone will be issued an I.D. Card (finally got that one sneaked by).

Obviously, you’ll be required to have this new card on you at all times – if you didn’t, how could you get that emergency gastric bypass surgery.

To make it easier on law enforcement… they could put up barricades along sidewalks… on the streets while you are driving – and you’ll have to show the card to buy food as well.

Like I did when I was in the Coast Guard… they could do random stops to check for compliance.

“Stop and stand by for a check of all applicable federal laws, regulations and I.D. Card”… their ticket to stop you anywhere.

This way government will be hammering on every race and nationality, not just Mexicans crossing the border illegally.

I can see it now… “Delta Niner… we got 10 runners alongside the riverbed here”… forget them Delta Twelve… I saw a bus full of Jewish women headed towards Vegas… get them”.

Crazy.

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